alxmarcond
Community Leader
From : Clemson
OS : LFS, Win7 b.7000, OS X Leopard 10.5.6
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Subject: Shit Happens March 11th 2008, 10:49 pm |
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<li><font size="4"><b>Taoism:</b> Shit happens.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Confucianism:</b> Confucius say, "Shit happens."</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Buddhism:</b> If shit happens, it isn't really shit.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Zen Buddhism:</b> Shit is, and is not.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Zen Buddhism #2:</b> What is the sound of shit happening?</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Hinduism:</b> This shit has happened before.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Islam:</b> If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Islam #2:</b> If shit happens, kill the person responsible.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Islam #3:</b> If shit happens, blame Israel.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Catholicism:</b> If shit happens, you deserve it.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Protestantism:</b> Let shit happen to someone else.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Presbyterian:</b> This shit was bound to happen.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Episcopalian:</b> It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Methodist: </b>It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Congregationalist:</b> Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Unitarian:</b> Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Lutheran:</b> If shit happens, don't talk about it.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Fundamentalism: </b>If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Fundamentalism #2:</b> If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Fundamentalism #3:</b> Shit must be born again.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Judaism:</b> Why does this shit always happen to us?</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Calvinism:</b> Shit happens because you don't work.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Seventh Day Adventism:</b> No shit shall happen on Saturday.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Creationism:</b> God made all shit.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Secular Humanism:</b> Shit evolves.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Christian Science: </b>When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Christian Science #2: </b>Shit happening is all in your mind.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Unitarianism:</b> Come let us reason together about this shit.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Quakers:</b> Let us not fight over this shit.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Utopianism: </b>This shit does not stink.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Darwinism:</b> This shit was once food.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Capitalism:</b> That's MY shit.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Communism: </b>It's everybody's shit.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Feminism:</b> Men are shit.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Chauvinism:</b> We may be shit, but you can't live without us...</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Commercialism: </b>Let's package this shit.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Impressionism:</b> From a distance, shit looks like a garden.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Idolism: </b></font><font size="4">Let's bronze this shit.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Existentialism:</b> Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Existentialism #2:</b> What is shit, anyway?</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Stoicism: </b>This shit is good for me.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Hedonism:</b> There is nothing like a good shit happening!</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Mormonism: </b>God sent us this shit.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Mormonism #2:</b> This shit is going to happen again.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Wiccan: </b></font><font size="4">An it harm none, let shit happen.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Scientology: </b>If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Jehovah's Witnesses:</b> >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Jehovah's Witnesses #2: </b>May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Jehovah's Witnesses #3:</b> Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Moonies:</b></font><font size="4"> Only really happy shit happens.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Hare Krishna:</b> Shit happens, rama rama.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Rastafarianism:</b></font><font size="4"> Let's smoke this shit!</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Zoroastrianism:</b></font><font size="4"> Shit happens half on the time.</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Church of SubGenius:</b></font><font size="4"> BoB shits.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Practical:</b> Deal with shit one day at a time.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Agnostic:</b> Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Agnostic #2:</b> Did someone shit?</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Agnostic #3:</b> What is this shit?</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Satanism: </b>SNEPPAH TIHS.</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Atheism:</b> What shit?</font> <li><font size="4"><b>Atheism #2:</b> I can't believe this shit!</font>
<li><font size="4"><b>Nihilism:</b> No shit.</font><br> <br> <li>And of course we must add...<b>Alcoholics Anonymous:</b> Shit happens-one day at a time!<
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purry
Senior Member
From : Washington
OS : Mac OS X Leopard
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Subject: Re: Shit Happens March 11th 2008, 11:06 pm |
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That is hilarious. Im saving this in Word.
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alxmarcond
Community Leader
From : Clemson
OS : LFS, Win7 b.7000, OS X Leopard 10.5.6
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Subject: Re: Shit Happens March 11th 2008, 11:35 pm |
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lol, how about notepad?
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Subject: Re: Shit Happens |
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