Shit Happens

Subject: Shit Happens March 11th 2008, 10:49 pm

<li>Taoism: Shit happens.
<li>Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."

<li>Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
<li>Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
<li>Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
<li>Hinduism: This shit has happened before.

<li>Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
<li>Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
<li>Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
<li>Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.

<li>Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
<li>Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
<li>Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
<li>Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

<li>Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
<li>Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
<li>Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
<li>Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)

<li>Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
<li>Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
<li>Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
<li>Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.

<li>Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
<li>Creationism: God made all shit.
<li>Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
<li>Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!

<li>Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
<li>Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
<li>Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
<li>Utopianism: This shit does not stink.

<li>Darwinism: This shit was once food.
<li>Capitalism: That's MY shit.
<li>Communism: It's everybody's shit.
<li>Feminism: Men are shit.

<li>Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
<li>Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
<li>Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
<li>Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.

<li>Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
<li>Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
<li>Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
<li>Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!

<li>Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
<li>Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
<li>Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
<li>Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.

<li>Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
<li>Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
<li>Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

<li>Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
<li>Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
<li>Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
<li>Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.

<li>Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
<li>Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
<li>Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
<li>Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?

<li>Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
<li>Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
<li>Atheism: What shit?
<li>Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!

<li>Nihilism: No shit. 
 
<li>And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!<

Senior Member From : Washington OS : Mac OS X Leopard

That is hilarious. Im saving this in Word.

Subject: Re: Shit Happens March 11th 2008, 11:35 pm

lol, how about notepad? happy